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Light and Truth Letter logo

My Search for More Light and Truth

AUSTIN FIFE

Joseph Smith

“Avoid contentions and vain disputes with men of corrupt minds, who do not desire to know the truth.”
JOSEPH SMITH JR.1

In memory of E. Roland Brown

LIGHT AND TRUTH LETTER

MY SEARCH FOR MORE LIGHT AND TRUTH

AUSTIN FIFE
August 2024

Introduction

An Open Letter to the CES Letter Foundation, Mormon Stories, and other critics of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

In January of 2014, I lost my faith. I confessed to my wife that I no longer believed in God, much less a Church of Jesus Christ. The conversation hurt but was a long time coming. My loss of faith was gradual and then all at once. It felt like my whole world had turned upside down. It hurt. I felt confused and lost.

My wife’s reaction surprised me; she did not panic or get defensive. Instead, she told me how excited she was for my faith journey. I thought I was leaving the Church, but she reframed what I was feeling as the start of a journey. Then she made me a promise: If I could find more light and truth outside the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, she would follow me. And she meant it.

It has been ten years. I have read the CES Letter several times and listened to many interviews on Mormon Stories. I spent countless hours hearing and reading from ex-Mormons and other critical Christians. I have learned a lot in my honest and exhaustive 10-year search. Over time, I felt unsettled about atheism or agnosticism, and I discovered things that forced me to reexamine my unbelief. As a result of my search for more light and truth, some questions troubled me.

The following issues are among my main concerns.

Footnotes

  1. Letter to the Church.” not after 18 December 1833, p. 120, The Joseph Smith Papers, accessed May 10, 2024, https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/paper-summary/letter-to-the-church-not-after-18-december-1833/1

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